Thursday, December 22, 2005

Sweet Jesus

"Mark, you've become more and more like Jesus Christ recently. All you need is to grow your hair out now and wear sandals..oh and don't forget the white sheet." -Me

"Honey, you don't like other people's good fortune." -Mark (directed at his wife)

"OHHHHH PLEEEEASSSEEEEE! Don't you pull that with me. I will get a piece of wood and hang you from it and put you there like Jesus." (His darling wife; who loves him DEARLY)

(Laughter ensues by the rather large family) ---large in number that is and not in mass! ;)

I love my family. We are vivacious, loud and well just like the family members in the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Shabe Yalda

Happy Shabe Yalda to everyone! The longest night of the year! This night holds great religious and cultural significance to Iranians everywhere. On this night (once a year) families gather together and stay awake in order to recite stories, eat fruits, bundle up together under the korsee (a type of blanket) and play games. In the old days a fire was to be lit all through the night because Ancient Iranians believed that there was discontent between the good and bad angels. This battle would be lost to the good angels after successfully making it through the longest and darkest night of the year. So in essence it is and was a battle between light and dark you could say. :)

Monday, December 19, 2005

Ablaze

A rainbow sunset with blissful shades of gold.
Dusk and obscurity upon us.
We scramble in the dark, finding our way with arms outstretched.
But our path is unclear and cluttered with obstacles. The destination is painted in abstract with vibrant and sometimes deliberate strokes.

Envious reds shedding morning dew.
Passion and absurdity have awoken.
The light is blinding and still with it's vast abundance, we are blind.
We don't need light in order to see.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Narcissus bewildered

Under the shivering shell it was my soul that went numb.
The lucid crystal did not hold my future but it mesmerized me in a way that cannot be explained with words. Staggering under a rotating universe enmeshed and engrossed.

Two choices lay ahead my friend.
With meek and mortal eyes, I glanced at you. My glance, however painful, revealed an unchanged mask with hollow eyes. You beheld a smile both tragic and peaceful at the same time. I had been grasping at words spoken from those eyes for so long that without them it seemed that my world was momentarily meaningless.

But I found meaning in you even if you never wanted me to.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Bittersweet

And a week went by with a bittersweet taste.
Tumultuous serenity.
The mind never forgets but loses sight.

Rain storms in the summer are refreshing but cursed in the winter.

And so the week went by in vertigo. Vertigo and an aching for simpler times when we trumpeted happiness from the rooftops. There was no one to impress and we didn't care who was offended by our joy. Happiness found in late night pillow talk and dances in the rain. We were there.

I remember. There was momentum and speeds only imitated by large machines. But eventually the pendulum must stabilize and come to a halt. Our bodies and souls are not built for such intensity.
So moments of sheer bliss unhindered by the world were dissolved as is the cold when spring is so near.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The light changes when you're in the room

Looking for something, I know not what.
Strangled by the fog of uneasiness and dillusion.
Everyone is simple.
Complexity is incongruity with its villainous terrains and unpredictable turns. Find me beyond the haze and amidst the turmoil of reality. Meditating on the NOW in a trance, blurry, and oh so accurate!

I can feel your emotions on my skin and I know.....
I just know....

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Looks like you could use some monkey love

"Ok, do me a favor. Turn to the right, just do it.
And pretend that there is a chimpanzee
3 year old chimp is watching the screen with you.
And he gives you a huge smile as you turn to look at him."

Sneaker suspicion

I will not submit.

I will not make myself a bride.
Heavy white cloths, limiting my movement, tangled and losing the ability to run.
No! Not me.
Bring me my sneakers and wipe that makeup off of my face.
There are far better things than "marital bliss".
You will not make a housewife out of me.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

"I'm going to punch you in your ovary!"

Blog Lama's tip of the day...

Crying like a little child may help you to achieve basic things from your mate, parents or perhaps boss? However, you cannot expect to continue with such a pathetic manipulation tactic without getting caught. One day, the jig will be up my friend and you will have lost ALL respect from your friends and family....

GASP! Maybe even your soul mate!!!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Respect of our elders

Loyalty to our elders is to be cherished and cultivated as we grow older under their wing. They bring us into this world and hold our hands through all the difficulties that this life may force us to endure. Many cultures find that elders must be respected and their opinions should be heeded first and foremost. In the Iranian culture, we do not place our parents in nursing homes. They will live with us if we so choose or they will be nearby. In some instances, it is impossible to live close but we will always have our parents and family close in our hearts and on speed dial!

Iranians engage in communal culture. There is a sense of closeness and warmth among family that cannot be denied. Unfortunately, this beautiful attribute has been tainted upon mixing with other cultures.

American culture has many great attributes but unfortunately there is much ageism. Ageism has caused many individuals to place little worth on the opinions of elders or their work. Ageism has led to the nursing home culture, which in many countries would be found to be both disrespectful and unheard of.

And now...I see among Iranians a sense of disrespect which has come about due to improper intermingling of cultures, anger and frustration. I know of an Iranian man who repeatedly ignores the plight of his poor mother. She has given him life and he cannot even help her to gain her bearings now that she is in a state of exhaustion and desperation. I am deeply saddened that this sort of thing has happened to our beautiful mothers. Mothers who gave up their lives and their potential for simpler lives because they wanted to provide their children with the opportunities never afforded to them.

The youth will realize one day that the disregard and contempt that they had for their parents will one day materialize when they themselves have children. Karma always has a way of creeping up on us, one day.

Friday, December 02, 2005

There is no I in WE

Face it.

Everyone is coupling off and surely there is nothing inherently wrong with that concept. What is irksome however is when you ask someone to join you for a simple evening out and they say they can't because their boyfriend or husband or their owner (oops, did I just let that slip?!) has a cold, is annoying or you just simply cannot be without them. Woops! Where did you go? I think your identity just morphed into someone elses. I'm sorry, does that hurt you? Certainly you didn't think that this is a good thing did you?

Common excuses:

1) I can't come out with the girls tonight because my sweetie will be bored without me
2) I can't come out with the girls tonight because my sweetie stubbed his big toe and WOE IS ME, what will he do without me?!
3) I can't come out with the girls tonight because umm...well...he just doesn't want me to go.

As I have stated in previous posts, for some people this is not a conflict because they never had a personality to begin with. Hiding behind your man is comforting because HEY you never have to think for yourself again. Silly BlogLama, how could you have forgotten that you are merely a girl in a MANS world! Tsk tsk tsk....

My frustration is a result of numerous moments when I have simply wanted to jump over a table and slap the stupidity out of these women. Grow a brain, get a life and stop hiding in the shadows over others.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Free to be...

Free to be.

The obsession with freedom is among us. We bathe in our pathetic meanderings with one main purpose....to develop independent thought, to create a meaningful existence. Billions of lives and we take our own so seriously. We are not original. All humans grapple with the notion of significance in their otherwise bleak lives. Don't confuse me. I am not Camus, Sartre or any other existentialist that comes to mind. I do not think that the existentialist dilemma should be so dreary and absolute. Perhaps my point here is that our emotions are not original as much as we want them to be. We all suffer and we all get lost along the way. Some of us are able to fool ourselves better than others. Believing in fantasies and mystical entities to hold our hands through this amazing thing called life. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with a guide to show us the path of virtue or at least the path that suits us best. As humans we have an outstanding grasp of resilience under pressure but what we need to be given is hope. Hope is the light at the end of the tunnel that pulls us out of all miseries and gives adequate strength to rise up yet again.

Should this hope be external or is it found within? Aye there's the rub! Relying on external modes of support can be deceiving for they appear in an alarmingly fast pace and disperse just as quickly. Our support should lie within and in the power of the divine within us. Yes, the divine within. For what are we if we do not have a little divinity in our fragile frames?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Beyond the realm of mankind

Plans.

We all have them. We depend on a future that has been created in our minds. Our hopes and dreams do not lie in this very moment, this moment when we are alive and animated. As my fingertips pound this keyboard and create words, I am exerting energy. An energy that has been bestowed upon me in order to live and to be. I am here. I hear the alluring sirens of the other realm beckoning me under candlelight, where mysteries are formed. In this moment, I realize that no plan that I have for a year from now or even tomorrow morning matter. When the giver of life decides that it is time for the vital spark of heavenly flame to be extinguished, then it shall be so. I will have to give up all that I am and have the potential to become.

In this dead of night, with the mystical sounds of Axiom of Choice floating in the air.....
In this moment caught in red, heat all around and an intoxicating scent.....
Abroad, next door and in another world, someone is in harmony with me.
Our energy waves have crossed paths and briefly we shared a moment of serenity and a sense of oneness.

This is what peace is made of. As boundaries deteriorate in a globalized world--- so do mental barriers. We are one, you and I. One in melancholy and in woe. One in happiness and in joy.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

The notorious F-A-K-E-R-S

So I'm the type of person that likes to plan fun events for everyone to attend. I put in a lot of time and effort to please myself and others around me. I don't mind doing this and do not expect others to do the same. Now I'm not sure if it's just my misfortune that has surrounded me with individuals who lack polite regard for others or if most people are this way by default. I have known some of the worlds biggest FAKERS. When I say fakers, I mean individuals who act like they really love what you have on, or an idea you have or an event you've planned. The fakers will look straight at you with a smile and swear that they will be there with you at (for example: mind you I am trying to think of the most random places to be) your ferrets birthday, your cats bar mitzvah or a trip that you've taken two months to plan.

In contract law, an offer, acceptance and consideration become a legally binding CONTRACT. If someone makes a statement (offer) and one reasonably believes that they will partake in the agreement (acceptance) and then unexpectedly the other person breaks that promise (if there is adequate consideration) then there may be remedies under the law for detrimental reliance. However, we are not in contracts class and these theories will not work in the real world when dealing with "friends". But wouldn't it be great if I could call up Jim Bob and tell him "heyyy, you made a promise and because of your promise I spent a great deal of time, effort and money. You better stick with your promise or pay up!"

It would be satisfying if I could tell the FAKERS that I will be serving them with papers that outline all the efforts I put into said event and because of their FAKENESS, they will have to devote the same amount of time, energy and money to please me. :-) Yes, in the world of the panting peaches, such theories would be implemented in the Constitution. No faking.

I prefer individuals who are real. Not rude real as in they are so blunt that they lack tact and emotion. A person must have a proper balance and more often than not, people are horribly imbalanced.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Test your GAY-dar

Picture this: Dupont Circle (which is a location in Washington DC where there is a predominant homosexual population) Little maroon colored car with leopard dice hanging from the rear view mirror. On the back of the car there is a black GODDESS license plate cover. Windows down and Nsync's old song "byebyebye" blaring. The driver? A gorgeous middle eastern man. Well groomed and a sharp fashion sense. Killer smile. Buns of steel. What would you think if you saw this scene? The truth is, most of us would immediately think he was homosexual. In this society that we are living in, the gender lines have often been skewed or blurred. The term metrosexual is prevalent and there are many who think it's cool to be "bisexual". Indeed, the manly man and girly girl notions are being heavily put to the test. However, if you thought our specimen above was gay......You were 100% wrong. Well groomed he is, sexy smile he has and buns of steel --he's got it all! ;-) That car belongs to his girlfriend and he was driving it with her as a passenger. The passenger was the GODDESS and the passenger put the Nsync cd in and turned it up. Haha. Now you may be wondering what the whole point of this was....the point was that we shouldn't jump to conclusions. I thought it was amusing myself when I viewed the scene and thought that from an outside perspective (as 15 gay men were walking by hand in hand) that there would be no questioning the sexuality of the driver. Perhaps we are told what men should be like and if you don't fit into that "mold" then you are obviously gay. It's funny how if a woman likes cars or construction, no one assumes that she is a lesbian. Hmmm, how does THAT work?! Oh I forgot, it's because men don't mind the thought of women sleeping together but to be gay....well don't even mention it!

Friday, September 16, 2005

You silly ovary!

Can you believe all this inequality is based on an ugly shriveled up shrimpy thing and two hacky sacks?!

That's the entire post. Enjoy the graphic image! ;-)

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Oh the irony!

I have a sort of ritual each night before I enter the depths of slumber. I light candles, meditate, stretch, turn on my electric water fountain (the irony in manmade nature!) and pray for various things. Usually my prayers are to help others but especially help others to not deceive themselves. This is somewhat of a new habit that has been formed since now I see that we are self absorbed creatures who lash out at others because we are unhappy. Unhappiness seeps through our mental filters and is apparent in our interactions with one another. However, it is not always something that we see readily. When someone yells at me for no visible reason, I tend to get angry and the situation rises steadily until it blows out of proportion.

There is no reason for this.
Technology has brought forth with it a plethora of opportunities in advancement but has also brought with it the decay of human communication. We are all safe behind our computers and can distribute filth as we see fit. Our ability to properly communicate with one another is slowly eroding and we must be careful that it does not go too far. This is a road to desensitization where we no longer feel sympathy for one another and we are no longer able to properly express our emotions. Therefore, when we are angered by one another we can let such anger fester or write about it on an online chat forum. But since our means of communication are declining, so are our tactics of diffusing anger.

Anger is a habit. We establish these traits after years of responding to painful stimuli in a certain way. It's also about perspective. If we learn to be defensive at all times, we will also start to believe that everyone is out to get us and thus that everyone is constantly speaking ill of us. It may or may not be true that the girl in the corner is giving us a nasty look but the real question is....who cares either way? This is where my prayers come in handy! If the girl in the corner is giving me a nasty look, it could be for a variety of reasons (jealousy, anger, etc.) but if I pray that she will learn to love herself and not be angry or jealous, I am in essence deflecting any negative karma that I may have for lashing out on her for no just cause.

Now, let's pause a second. This is Blog Lama's moment of truth where she states the obvious. LACK OF PERFECTION. None of us are perfect and clearly I have been known to lash out. This is not the best of all possible worlds according to Leibniz (a philosopher). In fact, just the other day I was infused with anger when I was disrespected. However, the main issue was not just the words but the manner in which the man approached me and invaded my personal space. Nowadays, a woman needs to make her limitations quite clear and never allow anyone to disrespect her because unfortunately being caught off guard could end disfavorably for her.

The moral of the story here is that we need to work on our communication skills as individuals and well...even as a nation! Lack of and ill communication have been the founding fathers of world conflicts. So from a very small scale, we should all work on ourselves and steer clear of bitterness and admonition. And hey, I'm no Dalai Lama --- go read one of his books and figure out how to simmer down. ;-)

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

And the President just flew on by...

Hurricane Katrina has been the cause of an absolute catastrophe. The people of New Orleans are suffering and dying. Our President decided to cut his month long vacation just a tad bit shorter. We are a super power. A nation who is willing to pour millions into waging wars and shedding blood. A nation who has used the power of the "us" vs. "them" mentality in order to breed more hatred in this tainted world. We are incapable of even helping our own people! I sit here and watch the news as the residents of New Orleans are interviewed. I am appalled by what I see. Pregnant women, cancer patients, injured civilians and hungry children. Americans are now experiencing what millions of others experience on a daily basis. There is no water, no food, no help in site.

Amazing. You people voted for this man. This man sat around and sent your sons to die in a war that had nothing to do with 9/11. This man sat in the comfort of his own home, knowing full well that nobody will ever touch or harm his own family. This man flew right by your ravaged city and then casually walked off his plane embracing his little dog.

You people voted for him and now you see how much he loves you.


Anti-War protests will be on September 23-26th. I will see you there. I want positive results from globalization. I want to see an end to poverty as the World Bank claims with their slogan, "Our dream is a world free of poverty". I want us as a super power to put an end to doxa and the politics of naming in order to realize that a nation should be bold and competitive but also show compassion. Let's show them that we are not all sheep. Let us not be afraid to yell out loud. We are not hippies or morons. We are very educated and opionated (and we know you are afraid of that).

To help the hurricane victims, donate to: http://www.redcross.org/donate/donate.html

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Yoda is a mean, green, fighting machine


Yoda cake. A whole lot of yum packed in the force. ;-) Happy Birthday little sis! Great cake selection, much better than Barbie or Care Bears.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I'll sumo wrestle you for that NSync cd!

My sister listens to singers like Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys. I have never enjoyed pop music. Sure some songs have a catchy beat and the words will stay in your brain longer than the names of several of your college professors. I on the other hand feel as though pop culture promotes sappy, dependent and whiny females. Of course this is only one result of the culture that brings you such lyrics as "Hit me baby one more time". What exactly are these images and lyrics doing to the young girls of today?

Certainly teenagers are like sponges ready to absorb any new idea that comes along and because of that; various genres of music will beget unique responses. However, the topic of this post is POP culture and girly girls. :-)

In the Britney Spears videos you see a whiny little girl talking about boys. She always dresses in skimpy outfits and sometimes she is nearly naked. In fact, the only reason this singer ever became popular is because she dressed up in sexy school clothes and appealed to the imagination of perverts and little girls who wanted ideas on how to attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, the message that Britney and many others give to girls is that guys will like you if you bat your cute eyes and always dress skanky.

Girls also have a false notion of love and marriage. These images of the biggest goal in a womans life being marriage have been constantly shoved in their faces. I am always hearing girls/women speak about their ideal marriage and their false notions of love. Love is usually measured by material possessions bought by your significant other. These girls/women do not realize that a big engagement ring or a dozen flowers each month are not how love should be measured. But how are they supposed to know any different? Everywhere they look there are images of gorgeous women flaunting their bodies in order to gain and sustain a man. But sometimes their efforts are in vain and in these music videos you see the guy cheating on the girl and her sitting their crying while the guy is out having fun. Boo HOO! Go get an education and kick the guy to the curb!

The problem here is that girls/women have degraded themselves without even realizing it. The feminist movement in this country went one step too far and created individuals like Britney and Christina who use their bodies to sell albums. I'm not critical of a woman who makes her money in the entertainment industry but what I am critical of us those women who further perpetuate the image of a woman as weaker mentally (and who cares right?) but with one fine ass! Freedom does not mean shaking your naked breasts in front of a bunch of loser guys who have the audacity to give you plastic beads as a reward. Disgusting.

I say have a fine ass but also use that brain of yours. And I could continue...forever really but hey it's only a blog not a thesis paper.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

You know those eskimo guys?

"You know those eskimo guys?" -Sartorius
"Yea?" -Blog Lama
"Do they still live in igloos or is that something that they did back then?"
-Sartorius
"Umm...(chuckles) you know...I don't know!" -Blog Lama

----Laughter ensues as we realize our ignorance on the topic of the inhabitants of Alaska (a state in our own country) ----

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Caveat Emptor

DISCLAIMER: I am no relationship guru. Most of the notions that I have about men and women come from years of watching, listening and learning from the many profoundly intelligent individuals before me. To sum it up -- relationships, love and life are nothing like your favorite romantic comedy. In fact, they are more like those apocalyptic doomsday movies. The world is coming to an end and you are racing against time with one chance in a million to change certain death. :)

And on a seemingly random note (but not really if you learn to connect the dots) --Yes. I am opionated. Yes. I will break down your argument if there is a flaw. No. I will not feel bad when your entire world is unraveled because I believe that I have freed you from a lifetime of delusion. Yes. You will loathe me. You will loathe me but you will also appreciate the time I have devoted to helping you find yourself. Harsh? You haven't seen harsh my sweet dumpling.

Convinced yet? Didn't think so. The truth is that this is my nature. This is who I am. Most men take a look at the caveat emptor sign and run screaming. Maybe because they have realized that there is no way to buy something (many have tried and many more will fail) that will never be for sale. Something that will never be polished and put on the mantle right alongside the bowling trophies and tenth place ribbons. No, I don't want a pedestal. I'm confident but never cocky. Equal footing would be the ideal. Balance and equality with a dash of kindness. Is that too much to ask???

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Move over Don Juan, here comes Casanova!

Oh the beauty of marriage! Planning the perfect wedding with a gorgeous Cinderella dress and a five tier cake. The magic of saying "I do" and feeling tears well up in your eyes. The dancing, the cameras, the attention! Who wouldn't want to get married when all eyes are on you!

Thinking, "OHHHH, he loves me! This is FOREVER!"

But as quickly as the day comes it fades away. The next day you are left with wilting flowers, crusty cake and sore feet. Further, you roll over to see the hunk of your dreams with drool on his pillow, snoring the Moonlight Sonata. Ah yes ladies and gentlemen! MARRIAGE HAS BEGUN!

There is no more alone time, silence or independence. You are no longer considered an individual. YAY. For most of you this is probably not an issue because you were never much of an individual anyway and were simply looking for someone to make you happy since you can't be happy alone. Kudos to you for finding a new daddy or mommy.

Ok sure marriage can have its positive aspects as well. Tax cuts, companionship and uhh... yea that's about it! And now comes my "marriage proposal":

Forever is a long time. Most of us cannot even appreciate the value of such a long term notion. So how about redefining forever? Forever can now be ten years. I propose that I swap Don Juan for Casanova right at the ten year mark. Ten years gives enough time to really get to know another person (as well as learn more about ourselves) and complete an ideal financial atmosphere. Upon reaching these goals we can be more comfortable moving on to bigger and better things! And every ten years, once we are adequately bored, we can turn in the used car for the new model.

This new age form of marriage will alleviate a lifetime of boredom and will help reshape a society where divorce (although running rampant) is no longer seen as a bad thing. :-)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Asinine men and the dense women who love them

What is the appeal of a man who treats his girlfriend and her friends as though they are less than him?

Self Esteem.
It all comes back to a lack of self esteem.
I've known many beautiful, intelligent women who have fallen prey to "the idiots". They don't think highly of themselves and therefore when a man comes along who shows any interest at all ---- they are at once bewitched at the attention received. It's all flowers and candies at first but when the guy realizes that he has found a new puppy dog to follow him around, he quickly realizes that he need not do much more in order to keep her on a leash. Furthermore, the woman is so smitten with the guy that she chooses to ignore his callous attitude towards her friends. In the mans mind there is no need to be friendly with her friends because his aim is to alienate the already drooling and dependent animal at his ankle. Friends? I'm the only friend she needs!

The blame here is entirely on the woman. In order to be respected one must show a little decency and a whole lot of dignity in herself.

Therefore my little panting peaches -- if I have described you above --please do not invite me to hang out with your boyfriends because I do not consort with bluthering idiots or lap dogs. :)

Calm down and drink some hot chocolate. Posted by Picasa
All jokes aside, La Madeleine has some darn good hot chocolate.
AND hey, it's better than flooding your veins full of caffeine (you crazy addicts you!)

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A Decent Proposal

After a discussion with my fellow comrade it has been decided that straight women find no enjoyment in watching women's tennis with their eyes closed. In fact, it can arouse jealousy.
Indeed my eyes were opened to a new and improved way of entertainment among men. I am amused nonetheless.

PaNtInG Peaches

I wanted to name this blog KABOB. Unfortunately, someone else already took the name. Funny. A vegetarian with a kabob fetish....