Tonight I walked but there was peace. The slight breeze invigorated me and I forgot about my worries for a moment. I was not afraid. I want these other fears to release me and tonight I bid them a not so fond farewell. You are not needed here anymore. I am strong, I am fearless, I am confident, I am happy, I am healthy and I am calm, YES I am CALM!
Sunday, May 02, 2010
The scariest part of night is when all are fast asleep and movement has halted. My mind likes to ponder over the most absurd thoughts. For one year I stayed awake as though a vampire scouring the streets. From the time the sun went down until the sun came up; I made sure to stay awake and keep myself busy with idle things. When things got really bad I would walk and walk until I could no longer walk. I would cry. I was angry. When a glimmer of sunlight would creep through my blinds I knew it was time to relax and sleep. What kind of life is that? Painting frantically, walking to the point of exhaustion and not knowing when it would hit. Running scared with the shadow always on my back.